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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/30052254">Don't Go</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/KellynKupcake/pseuds/KellynKupcake'>KellynKupcake</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>My Modern AU [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Anxiety, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Mental Health Issues, Mental Instability, Suicidal Thoughts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 03:01:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,547</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/30052254</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/KellynKupcake/pseuds/KellynKupcake</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>John has been wallowing for a few days. Original female Character (Karmen) leaves him alone for a while and fears she’s made a mistake when she returns.</p>
<p>
The stories in this series are all from the same AU. Jumbled timeline because I write what I feel like.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>My Modern AU [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2210796</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Don't Go</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>The stories in this series are all from the same AU. Jumbled timeline because I write what I feel like. I will be posting the one's I've already written in consecutive order but I will also be writing more to fill in the gaps and better explain. So they will come afterwards and may fit anywhere within the timeline of the stories that have already been posted. :)</p>
<p>
Also a lot of these are written from an Aussie perspective. I don't really specify where they live in the actual stories but I've decided to write what I know and have fun with it seeing as every other fic seems to be very America orientated. You can believe they live wherever you like though.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“John?” Karmen called as she slammed the front door behind her. Shrugging off her coat and letting it fall to the floor as she headed down the hallway.</p>
<p>“John?” She called again, holding on to the doorframe of her guest room as she whirled around the corner to look inside.</p>
<p>The bed was neatly made and she felt her breath catch in her throat as her heart-rate began to rise.</p>
<p>She’d only intended to be gone for a few minutes but she’d been held up at the corner store. Her blood had suddenly ran cold as she’d tapped her card to the Eftpos machine and a sense of dread swirled in her stomach as she realised she may have made a terrible mistake.</p>
<p>“John?” She shouted, more frantically this time as she moved on down the hallway, slamming open doors and glancing inside before moving on to the next.</p>
<p>She felt tears well in her eyes as she opened the bathroom door, wiping at them erratically as she realised he wasn’t in there either. She stood for a second, trying to calm her breathing as she thought. Turning on her heel and sprinting towards the back door. She skidded to a stop when she finally caught sight of him. Taking a deep breath and exhaling a sigh of relief as she looked over his gaunt figure leaning his forearms against the railing of her balcony and staring out towards the setting sun.</p>
<p>“Fucking hell.” She whispered under her breath. Taking a moment to steady herself. She used her shirt to scrub the tears from her eyes. Holding her hands over her face for a moment and just breathing as she prepared to walk outside. “Thank God.” She whispered, pulling her shirt back down and walking towards the door. She took one last quick, deep breath before opening it and making her way outside.</p>
<p>He didn’t acknowledge her as she approached, and she was silently thankful. It gave the redness around her eyes a moment to dissipate as she unconsciously copied his stance and leaned herself against the railing.</p>
<p>She bowed her head, closing her eyes for a moment before looking back up pursing her lips.</p>
<p>John’s eyes darted towards her and then back to the sunset. He was glad she was back. He’d declined when she’d asked if he wanted to join her and he had regretted it instantly. Not wanting to be a burden he had tried to give her some space. But being alone even for a few minutes had given his mind time to race.</p>
<p>Karmen looked to him, watching as he thought and wondering if she should speak.</p>
<p>“You okay?” She finally asked, turning to face him fully. She already knew the answer. But it felt wrong to not check in every now and then.</p>
<p>John was silent for a long moment. Swallowing audibly before licking his lips and sighing deeply.</p>
<p>“Yeah.” He answered after a pause, eyes staring blankly ahead. “I’m fine.” He said, hand coming up to scratch at his chin before falling back to it’s place on the railing.</p>
<p>She smiled sadly, knowing he couldn’t see her. Her hand coming up to rest on his bicep. He flinched at her touch and she pulled her hand back quickly. He turned to look at her quickly, sliding his arms along the banister as he took a small step closer before turning back to stare at the horizon once more.</p>
<p>She took the invitation, stepping towards him and snaking an arm around his waist. Her thumb rubbing gently against his hip as he seemed to relax into her touch.</p>
<p>They stood like that for a moment. Karmen looking up at him, her face only inches from his as she took in the way his eyes shone in the afternoon night.</p>
<p>He wasn’t okay.</p>
<p>She pulled away slowly, ending the hug and causing him to turn to her. He opened his mouth to speak but closed it once more when he caught her fishing around in her bag. She pulled out a pack of smoke and a lighter.</p>
<p>“Want one?” She asked as he looked between her and the packet. He furrowed his brows at the question, narrowing his eyes at her.</p>
<p>“Thought you said they’d kill me.” He said frankly, eyeing her suspiciously.</p>
<p>“Lots of things will kill you John.” She said softly as she brought a cigarette to her mouth and offered him the packet. “Just take one.” She mumbled around the smoke in her mouth.</p>
<p>She’d only bought them for him. Although she’d never admit that after all the years she’d spend campaigning against him quitting.</p>
<p>John did as instructed, sliding one from the pack and placing it between his lips. He watched silently as she lit her own. He leaned forward to make it easier for her to reach his.</p>
<p>The paper ignited and he breathed in deeply, pulling it away from his mouth in a hurry as he coughed out the breath he’d just inhaled.</p>
<p>“Jesus.” He rasped, gaining control of his breathing and taking another drag. They were stronger than he was used to. But the rush of nicotine calmed his nerves almost instantly. He hadn’t realised just how agitated he had been.</p>
<p>Karmen inhaled deeply, holding the smoke between two fingers as she turned to rest on the balcony once more.</p>
<p>“It’ll get better.” She said quietly, smoke billowing from her lips as she spoke.</p>
<p>“They’re strong.” John replied, following her lead and resting his forearms on the banister once more.</p>
<p>“Not what I meant.” She said seriously, looking to him sadly and studying the numbness of his expression.</p>
<p>“I know.” He replied simply, swallowing down everything he wanted to say and gritting his teeth to keep it all inside. “When?” He asked hoarsely. Already knowing the answer.</p>
<p>“In time.” She answered with a shrug before turning towards him, her hip resting heavily against the railing. “You know you’re welcome here, yeah?” She asked earnestly. She watched him nod. Unconsciously nodding along herself before speaking again. “For as long as it takes.” She assured.</p>
<p>“What if it takes a long-ass time?” He asked almost immediately, facing her quickly as he felt his hands begin to tremble. He twirled the cigarette in his fingers for something to do. Anything to keep them from shaking.</p>
<p>“There’s no time limit on our friendship John.” She said after a moment’s contemplation. “So don’t you go making other plans if being here’s what you really want. Don’t think of yourself as a burden.”</p>
<p>He scoffed at her words, rolling his eyes and turning back to the sunset.</p>
<p>“Easy to say.” He muttered, taking another drag and holding the smoke in his lungs for as long as he could stand it.</p>
<p>“It’s easy to say because you’re not a bloody burden.” Karmen said firmly. “Don’t go thinking you are, I won’t stand for it.” She said a little more aggressively than she’d meant to. Her emotions getting the best of her as she tried to push ideas of John having ‘other plans’ from her head.</p>
<p>She looked away from him, concentrating hard on ignoring the way her eyes stung.</p>
<p>“You always yell at your friends that are in distress?” John asked sarcastically, a small smile quirking the corner of his lips.</p>
<p>“I ain’t yelling.” Karmen said defensively, quickly wiping her eyes while she knew he wasn’t looking. “But test me Marston, I dare you.” She replied, mirth in her tone. John chuckled lightly in reply, turning to face her once more. He smiled, looking happy for a moment before catching sight of her face. The burning behind his own eyes becoming too much. His face falling as he snuffed out his cigarette on the banister and wrapped his arms tightly around her.</p>
<p>He rested his head on her shoulder, tears blurring his vision as she ground her own smoke against the railing and wrapped her arms around him just as tight.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry.” He croaked, not entirely sure what he was apologising for. Being a burden, showing his weakness, failing his family. All valid reasons but none of them seemed quite right.</p>
<p>“Don’t be.” She whispered, stoking one of her hands up and down his back. He’d scared the crap out of her when she’d come back to find him wallowing in a different place than he had been earlier. But she refused to let him know that. Refused to let him see how <em>his</em> sadness affected <em>her</em>.</p>
<p>It wasn’t about her. None of it was. He needed her to be strong and strong is what she resolved to be.</p>
<p>For him.</p>
<p>She closed her eyes, unconsciously swaying slightly as she held him for a long as he needed it. Alternating between stroking lightly petting his back before he finally pulled away. Wiping at his eyes with one hand before crossing his arms over his chest in a way she’d seen him do too many times in her life. The way that told her he was feeling particularly vulnerable.</p>
<p>“Come on.” She instructed, holding out her hand and gesturing back towards the house. “Let’s watch a movie or something. Take your mind off everything.”</p>
<p>He took her hand readily, squeezing it a little too tightly and letting himself be pulled back inside.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I hope you guys liked this one. Karmen is a prominent character in my Modern AU. I am such a HUGE Johnigail shipper when it comes to canon. But in a modern AU setting I feel they  would not have worked out or stayed together. So it's really fun to play with that in writing. Please consider letting me know if you liked this with a kudos or a comment. ❤</p></blockquote></div></div>
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